You are not going to find a better story on bisexuality than Sunny Megatron’s Happy Bisexuality Day! Why Is It So Hard Being Bi?
I mentioned in my other post today how difficult it can be to discuss your sexuality and be perceived by others. Oh, the questions! Oh, the judgement! Sunny touches on these and discusses them so well. But there are two points she makes that really resonate with me.
The first is the assumed 50/50 nature of bisexuality. I too have differing feelings about men and women. Just like I have differing feelings about all of the partners I’ve ever had. I know that I will have different emotional connections with everyone, and I know that they will differ further between men and women. However, as Sunny notes, there is this presumed idea that if you are bi, you will slot your experience with a partner evenly. I think that is entirely unfair.
I am also greatly impressed by the section where she discusses the various labels that bi folks could fall under, might be expected to switch to or are sometimes shamed into. Sure, there are the age-old fencesitter stereotypes, that we really are just straight or gay in waiting. But there is also that pressure from people who identify as queer, pansexual, heteroflexible and a number of other labels that would have you believe there is no such thing as bisexual for any number of reasons.
And truth be told, I’ve used two other labels: queer and the ultimate in vagueness—sexual. Ultimately though, my true preference is for bisexual. I understand all of the differing arguments around gender spectrum and fluidity, but this is the word that feels right to me.
