We are taught to listen to and respect our elders. They have experience and knowledge beyond our comprehension. I talk to and listen to my grandmother’s stories (she’s 93) and I take away advice I think might be relevant and useful.
But sometimes…sometimes…no.
As much as I think this interview is a good read and that there are some nuggets in it that could be helpful in certain relationship contexts, someone who has had four significant relationships, the most successful of which was in a possibly not-quite-consensual poly or cheating situation isn’t a good role model. Now, to be fair, the article does not paint her as such, and I don’t know if the book does either, but whenever thoughts from an elder are presented, they are immediately associated as such.
I guess this strikes a particular chord with me because I have been asked a lot of relationship advice from friends over the years. I’ve been that guy female friends ask for help from. And while I do give out advice, I always preface it with:
“Why are you asking me? Look at my relationship history—it has been terrible. Failure after failure (until now)…some in ridiculous fashion. So, go ahead and take my advice…”
Just because a life has been lived, particularly when it comes to sex, doesn’t mean those experiences are worth emulating.
