I don’t often read sex advice columns, and I definitely missed this monstrosity in The Globe and Mail. But Samantha Fraser penned her own excellent response to the question posed. I like her take and I love the wonderful Jack Lamon’s comments in the article (Jack’s own response is here).
But I am utterly shocked and dismayed at the fact this unnamed person is a sex columnist.
Oh, you had a little epiphany on sex toys after visiting CAYA? Have you ever been to a sex shop before? Seriously? What qualifies you to give advice when your first reaction is to agree with a jealous, self-centred asshole who thinks his wife isn’t allowed to use a vibrator?
A sex advice columnist needs, first and foremost, to be compassionate and understanding of all of those people affected by a sexual situation. Whether it is an individual, a couple, or a group. To start right off by commiserating with one side makes your advice shallow and, well, one-sided. Sure, I called the dude a jealous, self-centred asshole—but I can because I’m not offering advice!
After that, a sex columnist needs to be informed. If you are just visiting a sex shop and learning about sex toys, you are not at all qualified to answer concerns for other people. Fortunately you were smart enough to go to an excellent shop. And it does seemed you learned something. But, in no way, should you be offering information.
Ultimately, responsibility falls on the The Globe and Mail for putting a hack in this position. You may be a great writer and journalist, but you qualify as a hack here. And The Globe has shown very poor judgement for not seeing what you are.
There is a, justifiably, high degree of responsibility required when writing about sex. None was shown here.
