As I follow along with #adultsexedmonth, I notice that the majority of posts have been particularly straight. Not that there‘s anything wrong with that! Ha!
Kidding aside, a significant issue in a person’s sexual journey can be discovering personal same sex attraction. This is a potentially life-changing occurrence and needs to be considered with great care. Currently, sex education rarely, if ever, provides tools to youth so that they might be able to navigate the situation. Consequently adults aren’t at all equipped to deal with the flood of emotions, societal issues and questions that follow from same sex attraction.
I started figuring out I am also attracted to men and women in my teens—through porn. As I got more involved with porn and discovered different types of it, I noticed that I enjoyed looking at the men featured as much as the women. However, it wasn’t until my university years that I acted on this attraction. And had some great times.
Over the years, I’ve had a rather easy time of things when it comes to my bisexuality. I tell who I want, and then don’t tell those I don’t want to know. It’s never been an issue.
Not everyone shares this ease of experience. Some people struggle all of their lives, not being able to accept their own personal queerness. Some question and doubt their attractions. Some fear ever acknowledging these feelings. Some live in communities that just won’t allow it.
Some people deal with all of the above.
Even if you do find yourself in the most positive environment with an accepting and understanding family and peer group, there is enough societal stigma about same sex relations to make it a difficult thing to speak of out loud. Our world has done much to force internalized homophobia. That, in and of itself is a tremendous barrier to cross to your own big, gay happiness.
Fortunately, I think society is inching, bit by bit, to being more accepting and understanding of everyone on the sexual spectrum. And as we collectively become more understanding of the wide world of sexual attraction—including same sex attraction—we will, hopefully, all be better equipped to accepting our individual sexuality.
