Can cheating on your partner be the best solution to sexual incompatibility?
Check out Dan Savage’s take on the situation.
I agree with Dan—sort of. Personally, I advocate a type of sexual surrogacy. People need to know and understand that each person in a relationship has sexual needs and desires. Those two (or more) people, who share love, a bond, possibly a family, should be able to have a conversation that explores finding and outside person who can satisfy specific needs. This isn’t about opening the relationship up to other relationships, that is a different situation. Instead, I propose a specific an action. No new relationship, in fact, nothing more than you’d have with your dry cleaner or barista.
Absolutely, this is a concept that hasn’t ever been embraced…but is that because it hasn’t been offered to society at large? Hopefully, limitations on sex workers will continue to loosen and they can ply their trade without interference. That might also allow men and women to contact sex workers to fulfil sexual needs.
The one part of this I think is key is the honesty factor. Again, we’ve never really been confronted with this type of scenario, in wider society (I am sure it has gone on underground), so it would take much getting used to individually and societally.
But I do think it is the better option than cheating.
