I know you may be thinking “Masturbation isn’t a kink!” and in some senses, you may be right. But consider it this way: masturbation is a widely participated in sexual activity that very few people talk about. It is still taboo. And to me, that makes it pretty damn kinky.
Fortunately, we now have May as Masturbation Month and there are going to be some amazing events to commemorate self-love. In Montreal, Claire Litton and Cameryn Moore have teamed up to hand you Montreal Masturbate-a-thon! Claire gives us all the details.
What inspired Masturbate-a-thon?
In 1994, the first female Surgeon General of the United States, Joycelyn Elders, was fired from her job for suggesting that adolescents receive positive information about masturbation. Since then, events celebrating masturbation and Dr. Elders have sprung up across the US and have since spread globlly, with May being designated as “Masturbation Month” by whoever is in charge of designating such things. The first masturbate-a-thon was developed in 1999 as a way to raise awareness about Dr. Elders’ dismissal, the shoddy state of sex ed in the US, and act as a fundraiser for charities. Since then, masturbate-a-thons have been held across North America, as well as in the UK and Denmark. Montreal’s Masturbate-a-thon was inspired because we thought it’s a very left-wing, open-mided city that would support a more open discussion of sexuality, and want to support a great charity at the same time. Plus we thought people wouldn’t mind getting their clothes off in public.
Do you think the social stigma of masturbation is lessening?
Nope. Well, I don’t know, compared to what? I think masturbation is one of the great sexual taboos, or a great joke, rather. We don’t hear much about it in sex ed classes, we don’t see it even in the raunchiest TV shows and Skinemax flicks…we hear an awful lot about love with someone else, but not that much about love with ourselves. It’s still against the broadcast rules to show a female orgasm from masturbation on television, so most of the time that means we never see ladies doing it at all — we learn to associate male masturbation with jokes and jerks, the kind of weirdos who can’t get girlfriends. Since pretty much everyone has tried it at some point in their lives (excepting asexuals, who I suppose may have also tried it just to see if they liked it, found out they didn’t, and then stopped trying), it’s amazing that such a common experience is still viewed with such condemnation.
The event is open to both “wankers and watchers,” do you have any fears you’ll be overrun by watchers with too few wankers?
There is a little bit of that, although I am expecting the ratio to be about 2:1 with watchers:wankers. It’s very intimidating to wank in public, and some people may have an intention of wanking and just get shy, or some people might be going in the hopes of seeing some naked ladies giving a free porn show. Some of the questions we’ve fielded from various areas indicate that there is the mistaken notion that this is a peepshow or a pay-to-play sex party: which it is definitely not. We’ve been actively discouraging those types from attending, in the hopes of making those who are masturbating feel safe. Basically, we can’t guarantee any sort of atmosphere. The best way to ensure the event fills up with people with the right attitude and enthusiastically participating, is to encourage your sex-positive, queer-friendly, body-happy friends to buy tickets and come out! Otherwise, it’s just gonna be the creepy dudes wishing there were more naked ladies.
Tell us about Head and Hands and Cameryn’s Sexploreum.
Head & Hands (
headandhands.ca) is a youth sex ed and outreach organization based in Montreal. They provide services to young people aged 12-25: this includes legal services if they need it, clinic services, education, workshops, you name it. Their goal is to normalize sexuality for young people and provide them with high quality care they may not be able to get elsewhere. They are particularly body friendly and queer friendly, and we think they are a wonderful organization, doing excellent work.
The Sexploreum is a new project based on children’s hands-on museum experiences. The goal is to encourage adults to learn about and play with sexual subjects and behaviours in an exploratory, fun, imaginative way. All too often, we end up stuck in a deadly-serious, scary area where we don’t know something about sex and we’re afraid to ask. It’s our hope that the Sexploreum will provide a no-judgments area for adults to participate in the kind of personal growth and exploration of their five senses that will lead them to happy, comfortable sexual experiences.
What message are you most hoping to convey with this event?
That masturbation is a normal, healthy part of sexual expression — not mandatory, but normal. That it is possible to have fun and be sexual at the same time. That we support open dialogue and communication about all aspects of sexuality and encourage people to be open both with themselves and with their partners, family, and friends.
Do you think it could possibly lead to future masturbation events?
Well, we might run it again next year! I don’t know, I feel like masturbation being as difficult a subject as it is, it would be harder for people to host a masturbation-themed event without it being specifically for masturbation month, or for some kind of special event. It might be interesting to see an event that encouraged women to look at their vaginas in great detail, as with some of the Annie Sprinkle-style cervical explorations. I know there are some workshops that teach an almost spiritual masturbation experience — like training people to look and appreciate their genitals, and touch them with love, that kind of thing. I’d like to see something like that.
What is your own personal euphemism for masturbation?
Hmm, I think I’m too much of an educator! I just call it “masturbating”, most of the time. I am partial to “wank” and “whack it”, though, mostly because I think they’re hilarious. I think sex should be funny more often.
