One of the questions I’ve wanted to ask in my #dailysexdiscussion is “Have you ever been a cheater?”
I haven’t asked because I’m not confident of getting many honest responses.
Cheating happens for a variety of reasons, each of which is then specific to the individual situation. As Denise Charles notes here, there are people who cheat for revenge, variety and emotional need.
I’d like to suggest another type of cheater. The “holy shit it just happened” cheater…because that’s what I almost was.
Without going into specific detail, I was once engaged and I almost had sex with another person. We were at a very sexy party that incorporated a theme that involved swapping clothes. One thing lead to another and if it weren’t for us breaking a bathroom rink, I would have joined the “cheater’s club.”
Now, this wasn’t premeditated. The other person was just a friend, not someone I would pursue a relationship with. But we almost fucked and because that hadn’t been negotiated with with then-partner, I would have felt awful afterwards.
[As an aside, the person whose sink I broke later played a significant role in the end of that relationship, so I don’t feel bad about causing trouble with his landlord.]
The more troubling aspect of cheating for me is that I’ve often had thoughts of cheating, in part relationships. While never acting on them, it troubles me when I have thought about steppin’ out. I recognize that it signals greater trouble within those relationships and I am delighted that I haven’t had those thoughts for a long time.
I’d like to suggest another type of cheater. The “holy shit it just happened” cheater…because that’s what I almost was.
Without going into specific detail, I was once engaged and I almost had sex with another person. We were at a very sexy party that incorporated a theme that involved swapping clothes. One thing lead to another and if it weren’t for us breaking a bathroom rink, I would have joined the “cheater’s club.”
Now, this wasn’t premeditated. The other person was just a friend, not someone I would pursue a relationship with. But we almost fucked and because that hadn’t been negotiated with with then-partner, I would have felt awful afterwards.
[As an aside, the person whose sink I broke later played a significant role in the end of that relationship, so I don’t feel bad about causing trouble with his landlord.]
The more troubling aspect of cheating for me is that I’ve often had thoughts of cheating, in part relationships. While never acting on them, it troubles me when I have thought about steppin’ out. I recognize that it signals greater trouble within those relationships and I am delighted that I haven’t had those thoughts for a long time.
