Mar 06

Sex City Goes to Catalyst Con East Saturday March 28!

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I am very happy to announce that I will be broadcasting a very special edition of Sex City from Catalyst Con East!

We will be hitting the road, travelling down to Washington, DC for a weekend of sex education and fun as part of this annual, awesome event.

You can tune in to a special airing of Sex City on SATURDAY MARCH 28 at 5PM on CIUT 89.5FM (on air and streaming) to catch my conversations with three of the most fascinating people in the world of sex:

Check out this exciting, special, sexy presentation of Sex City Saturday March 28, 5pm!

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@CIUT895FM
sexcityradio@gmail.com
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Jan 20

My latest Sex Stories We Love! Frotteurism, How Not to Clean Your Sex Toy, Safe Literature & More!

Writing about sex—particularly sex in the news—just feels so damn right. It really is what I wish I could do all time! Fortunately, I’ve got my little slice of the pie over at Kinkly—and here it is!

My latest Sex Stories We Love dips into frotteurism, dlido cleaning gone wrong, condoms in erotica, strip club commandments, the sexiness of creativity and bipolar disorder in relationships.

Read Here!

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Jan 13

Just Getting Warmed Up: The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50

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It wasn’t that long ago that we—society—generally thought that older people just weren’t having sex. We thought that sex drive and libido shrivelled up and that thoughts of retirement in Florida were paramount in the lives of our seniors. Turns out this notion is completely wrong and that older people are definitely still interested in maintaining and exploring their sexual selves, and the inimitable Joan Price has is here. With her standout book The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty (Cleis Press), she has collected excellent advice and tips for anyone who is older and frisky for fun.

Check out an excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty by Joan Price that shows her excellent understanding of the specific needs of seniors in the sexual world.  

First Time Anxiety

The first time we had sex, it was very difficult for me. I froze every time he touched me. I would not let his hands touch certain parts of my body, and only took off enough clothes to accomplish what we needed to accomplish.

Sometimes getting sexual with a new lover isn’t fabulous. We’re nervous and anxious, and often our bodies seem to be saying, “Say, what?” instead of “Go, go!”

We may be self-conscious about our looks, or our ability. Sometimes it’s all awkward fumbling, not knowing how to please this unfamiliar person, not knowing how to communicate about how we want to be pleased. The sights, sounds, and smells are all different. Maybe grief wells up—this is not the person who used to share our bed and our body.

Sometimes it’s physical discomfort, or lack of stimulation, or fear that it won’t work. We may find ourselves very aware that we’re no longer driven by our hormones (which would have let us overlook all of this in the past). We may even wish we hadn’t started.

Anxiety doesn’t lead to good sex. The brain is our primary sex organ, transmitting physical sensations, desire, pleasure, and a sense of well-being. But anxiety short-circuits the pleasure and causes the “flight or fight” response—we’re on guard, not relaxed; ready to bolt, not receive pleasure.

This is not only an emotional reaction. Anxiety also sends blood away from our genitals—exactly the opposite of what we need at our age! Penises deflate, vaginas get dry and tight. A worried mind kills pleasure.

Performance anxiety—it’s not just for the young. As if we didn’t have enough to deal with at our age, inhibitions, fears, body image, and feelings of inadequacy are rearing their ugly little heads in our bedrooms and interfering with our sensual enjoyment. Here are a few worries you might recognize, and solutions for minimizing their impact.

Women worry that decreased lubrication will make sex painful, and our partners may think we’re not attracted to them because we don’t have that tangible sign of arousal. This is an easy fix—make lubricant part of the love play, and explain to your partner that you just don’t lubricate as much as you used to, but that has nothing to do with how aroused you are.

Likewise, communication is the best antidote to the embarrassment that comes with slow arousal and orgasm. Just explain that it’s physical, and give yourself more time. Tell your partner what you need.

Men have a much more visible issue to deal with. It’s natural for erections to be less hard and less reliable with age, and that causes men considerable anxiety, especially if they think that the only “real” sex is intercourse. “Erection is such a defining element of men’s sexuality that when it falters, many men find it unnerving and they think: I can’t do it anymore,” says Michael Castleman, MA, who publishes www.Great SexAfter40.com. “Older sex for men is less about erection and more about learning how to enjoy lovemaking without inter- course,” he advises. (Learn much more about this in chapter 12, Sex without Erections.)

Some tips for overcoming performance anxiety:

  • Be present and appreciate what is going on, rather than getting upset about what is missing.
  • If erections are unreliable or out of the picture, spend more time on sexually exciting and satisfying activities that don’t require erections at all: stimulate each other with hands and mouth, use sex toys if you enjoy them, massage each other (not skipping intimate areas), and whisper racy words.
  • Laughter is a great anxiety reliever. If you can joke and play, you’ll overcome the first-time anxiety more easily.
  • If you’re nervous about sex, just cuddle and kiss without goals. You’ll feel closer and more relaxed by eliminating the pressure of what is supposed to happen. Concentrate on the plea- sure and sensation that’s happening right now.
  • Choose intimacy over anxiety. Tell your partner what about him or her turns you on. We all love to hear that!

It’s often a choice whether to let a sexual change be an ever- worsening problem or an opportunity for new, sexy disco eries. Which path do you choose?

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Jan 10

Sex Ed and Storytelling on this week’s Sex City!

It was a pleasure to welcome some fantastic individuals to Sex City this week! I had great talks with Sunny Megatron about her wonderful sex ed show Sex with Sunny Megatron. Brian Finch told us about how storytelling has greatly helped his work as an HIV advocate and how he is launching Dare! Stories We Thought We’d Never Tell. Finally, Tim Bartsch shared the story behind the creation of his story Southern Time.

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Dec 23

My latest Sex Stories We Love on Kinkly!

Writing for Kinkly has been one of my favourite things this year—especially the Sex Stories We Love columns. That said, I am delighted that this is my last piece of official work due this calendar year and I am enjoying the break. But I’ve already got some stories stockpiled for SSWL, the blog and other works, coming soon in 2015!

Check out my latest Sex Stories We Love featuring LEGO! Dornan! Fetish Photos! Furries! Infidelity! Language Transition Petition!

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Dec 14

Sex News! I love it! December 14, 2014

Chlorine Gas Leak In Chicago Disrupts ‘Furries’ Convention

12 Awkward Sex Moments Everyone Has But Is Too Afraid To Admit

3 reasons the war on porn is really a war on women

Show this graphic to anyone who says rape isn’t a real issue in America

Can the dialogue around sexual assault lead to broader change?

Choosing the Right Vibrator

The College Rape Overcorrection

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Vaginas

The Smartest Sex Tip You’ve Never Heard Of Before Might Revolutionize Your Next One-Night Stand

This Just In: The Weird Thing That’s Killing Your Libido

What Men Raised on Porn Really Need to Know About Pleasing a Woman

Was 2014 the Year Science Discovered The Female Orgasm?

I Am A Porn Star Asking the Porn Industry To Stop Using The Term “Shemale”

Which Countries Last the Longest Watching Porn (Damn, China!)

Pipedream – Not a Company to Support

What’s Wrong With A Little Fur In The Bedroom? Nothing. Especially When You Understand The Rest.

What I Learned By Looking At Erotic Pictures Of Fat Women

Face-sitting protest outside parliament against new porn rules

11 Awful Sex Scenes From Fiction This Year

4 Things You Should Know About Fake Rape Accusations

ADVERTISING SEX THE NEW CRIME

Women Are Turned on By…What? 7 Weirdest Things Science Has Taught Us About Sex

Why It Took Me Until My 50s To Feel OK About Masturbation

REAL COUPLES PLAY “SEXY CHARADES,” TRY TO ACT OUT SEX POSITIONS BASED ON THEIR HILARIOUS NAMES

Margaret Cho, ‘Chelsea Lately’s’ Heather McDonald Late-Night Series ‘All About Sex’ Greenlit by TLC

5 Surprising Things About Sex that Women May Be Scared to Tell Men

78-year-old Iowa legislator is prosecuted for having sex with his wife, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s

CUPID’S ESCORTS LEAVES THE SEX TRADE

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Dec 10

Discussing CONSENT—A Special Sex City

It was an honour to host last night’s Sex City show all about Consent. Many thanks to my special guest co-host Lisa Bucher for putting this show together with me and doing a great job. Many thanks to all of the guests, each of whom we could have easily dedicated an entire hour to. Raymond Motee gave us just a glimpse, but very key information on the status of consent in the legal realm. Matt Scott and shadow-girl introduced us to Ontario Kink and how Jian Ghomeshi’s calculated inclusion of BDSM in his initial, defensive statement affected the kink community and how they and others are working to educate on matters of consent. And Heather Elizabeth and JP Robichaud provided the building blocks for us to bring consent into our lives, in clear, compassionate ways.

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Dec 06

Remembering the Women—Victims of the Montreal Massacre

Remembering the victims of the École Polytechnique massacre.

Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department
Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student

25 years have passed…but sadly, we all know this could happen again, anytime.

Consider, on this National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women, the many documented missing and murdered Indigenous women, incidents like Ghomeshi and Cosby and the daily struggles against harassment, sexual assault, domestic assault and so much more. Remember, reflect and act.

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