This year we feature an amazing line-up of readers:
Friday June 26
Glad Day Bookshop
598a Yonge Street
This year we feature an amazing line-up of readers:
Friday June 26
Glad Day Bookshop
598a Yonge Street
I’m happy to help promote Sex Blogger Success: 10 Weeks to a Money-Making Blog—a new program put out by Rori of Between My Sheets. Without a doubt, her sex blog is one of the most successful out there, so it makes perfect sense to take some advice and learn from a master!
A lot of us sex blog for fun…but maybe you can turn that fun into profit…and maybe you too can turn your blog into your full-time job! Check out all the great content you’re going to be introduced to that just might change your blogging life.
Sign up for this 10-module course using promo code SEXY50 to save 50% off the regular registration price! That’s a great deal for all the information you’re going to receive!
And remember, if you’re not completely satisfied, Rori offers a 30-day money back guarantee!
Here’s to many more, great sex blogs and the success we deserve!
I consider myself very lucky for two particular things: I’ve fairly physically flexible and I’ve got a partner who is pretty damn flexible in both mind and adventurous spirit! Together we’ve tried and come up with some awesome sex positions over the years. But that doesn’t mean we’re stopping any time soon. I’m always looking for new and interesting things to try.
Personally, I’d love to try some positions in a sex swing. Those acts might be some we’ve already done, but we’ve never done them in a sling! I can just imagine the fun we can get up to…
What sex positions would you like to try? If you’re wondering what might be out there to try, check out Durex’s New Sex Positions Guide. There are plenty of great ideas in there!
Do you have a secret sex position desire? Email your sexiest position fantasy to jon at sex in words dot ca for your chance to win an awesome prize pack form Durex that just might set you on the course to a fucking good time. Get your entries in and I will pick a winner on June 1. I will notify that person by return email.
Good luck with the contest and good luck gettin’ laid in a new way!
I am very excited to be hosting Sssh.com’s #SexTalkTuesday on TUESDAY MAY 19 at 3PM ET!
My topics, to be sent out and discussed throughout the hour are:
Q1 Sex has an increased presence in media these days. Are they doing a good job? #sextalktuesday
Q2 Are there sex-related topics media should be covering more, but aren’t? #sextalktuesday
Q3 What media outlets are best at covering topics of sex? Let’s give some love! #sextalktuesday
Q4 What determines that fine line between thoughtful discussions of sex and sensationalism? #sextalktuesday
Q5 Do you think sex will ever be a commonplace subject, discussed as easily as recipes, politics, sports, etc? #sextalktuesday
Join me TUESDAY MAY 19 at 3PM for a great chat!
Is the porn people—in this case, men—watch simply a matter of choice and taste? Or could there be a deeper meaning, even a biological push, behind the films and clips we watch?
Check out my latest on Kinkly “The Porn Men Watch Is Different from What They Say They Watch”.
Listen in this Friday, April 10 at 3pm and 10pm!
Even though it is radio, I’m going to be wearing a smoking jacket…just cuz…
I am a moderately friendly person. Actually, I’m quite affable, however, I am not great in public. Shy in person. Once I am engaged I will talk your ear off or listen thoughtfully for hours. Some new friends and acquaintances learned my little eccentricity at CatalystCon East this past weekend. The public aspect of my personality is a difficult one to manage. I think there’s a term, something like ‘extroverted introvert’ flying around these days that seems to apply. I am more at home, when out and about, standing back and observing until I am engaged. I fear approaching people. In the past I’ve been called aloof and standoffish. A lot. Really, that’s not the case. I just have a hard time initiating face-to-face interaction.
In other words, please talk to me, but also, please understand if I seem like I don’t want to talk to you. I do…I just…I’m awkward as fuck sometimes.
One of the hardest aspects of public interaction for me is the potential for physical interaction. If we are familiar, friends, business-related, have shared a conversation (in person or online) I will happily give a hug, handshake, touch your arm or be fine if you touch me. If we are new to each other, I am generally not comfortable with this. I need to interact some before that personal boundary falls. This greatly explains why I have picked up/been picked up a grand total of once in my life.
I need a connection.
What I don’t need is a loudmouth performer berating an audience from a stage for 10 minutes, telling us we should all be touch. I do not need it, I do not want it, I got very mad at it. And I don’t think I was alone.
* * *
The performances at CatalystCon’s Urban Erotika showcase were fantastic. Many performers brought me back to enjoying spoken word. There was awesome comedy, poignant statements and good fun. Good, sexy fun.
And then the show ended with this singer.
I’ll admit to some bad journalism right now: I only remember her name is Nina. Nina Something. Her intro was flubbed and I didn’t catch her last name. It seemed a good way to end the night, a sultry song to send us on our way.
Now, something to note: I come from Toronto. As one of my car mates remarked, our live performance etiquette is lacking. Toronto crowds are notorious for standing at the back of the room, not near the stage. Bands from out of town often call out to us to move up to the front. Or if it is a seated venue…we still sit near the back. Performers try and try. Most leave it at a couple snide remarks and move on. As it should be.
So when Nina started in with (I paraphrase) "Let’s all get close. Touch and hold the person next to you. If you don’t know that person, meet and touch. Let’s all touch," I just giggled and remembered back to bands repeating that "move to the stage" plea.
But demand went on. And on. And on. And she started pointing out specific people, noting "That woman, no one is touching her. That man needs to be touching or be touched."
As the excoriating continued, I got more and more angry. I really thought about making a statement. I really thought about telling her to stop. My table mate, someone I had had a lovely conversation with and whom I wish to connect with again to chat, was sitting somewhat behind me (to assure her view of the stage) at our round tables. She leaned in and asked "Can I touch your shoulder so she shuts the fuck up." She was equally annoyed but all I could think was ‘shut the fuck up and sing.’ I remained silent, save for this tweet. I should have been a better advocate for others and myself that night.
* * *
I am lucky. I may feel discomfort at unfamiliar touch…but I have never been victimized. I have never been the recipient of sexual and touch assault. Others at the conference have. I interviewed a survivor early that day who detailed a sexual predator’s ways to force touch on others. Many others. Because their stories are their own histories and I do not share that history, I can, at best, commiserate and help in whatever advocacy is appropriate.
But I didn’t do that. My own discomfort took over and I have to own that. It affected me and still does. Yes, anger permeates and resonates but unease at my own actions remains. A sick feeling has grown that I did not stop her act by standing and speaking or even leaving.
* * *
I was heartened that some people replied to the tweet. I didn’t feel alone. And damn, once she sang she was wonderful. But I couldn’t get past the beginning. And as I think on the event more, I can see where her thinking might have come from (I like to think she wasn’t just rude and ignorant).
We were all gathered in a room at a sex conference. We had spent the day and night learning about, discussing and enjoying strong, sexual words and dialogue. Surely people were hooking up.
But does that us complicit to the idea that sex obviously spreads through place every part of the event?
No. No, it does not.
Being at a sex conference does not give anyone any kind of justification to presume what can and should happen with my body—be it my hands moving to others or their hands on me.
This is a direct message to Nina:
You have no dominion over my body or the bodies of others. Only your own. You have no say. To harangue and shame me into touch was disrespectful and distasteful. You need to check your attitude and learn about the powerful impact of touch before you ever, EVER perform in a sex-related space again.
* * *
Touch really is power. Touch can be used to convey so many messages. It offers and projects care, love, desire, affection. It can also assert control, hurt, damage. Touch can be the greatest or worst form of communication depending on the circumstance. We must respect others and their boundaries around what happens to their body. Unless you ask, you have no idea what their comfort level is.
On the flip side of this incident is the relief I felt every time I was asked if it was okay to hug. That is what you do: you ask. I embraced many people over the weekend and I did enjoy it. Because it was on our mutual terms. Because was consensual and respectful. It was right.
Because I really do like touch…just not when it is forced on me.
posted hastily via email, please let me know any issues with the piece.
I will confess, I have never used an escort website before. Nor have I actually purchased services from a sex worker—though I support the industry and those who earn their income in it. The criminalization and stigma around offering sexual services is a ridiculous view held by a few that somehow took root in a naive and foolish time. Now, we are finally starting to understand the hypocrisy of this view with, albeit, slowly-changing mores and laws surrounding sex work.
Of course, as in any work environment, there are bound to be good aspects and bad ones. It is the same thing with being a freelancer or independent contractor. Personally, I’d love to spend my day writing for a living, but that won’t really work with my lifestyle choices. So I have a day job with an employer I have to answer to. Because of this choice I don’t have to hustle and labour at the necessary publicity and self-promotion freelancing requires. Sure, I don’t entirely get to do what I want all day, but I did pick a profession I am happy in. So, it all balances out.
I imagine it is the same for sex work and whether you choose to work with an agency or independently. I’d love to speak more with an independent worker, because looking through the London Escort Girls 4U website, it seems like they have a solid foundation for a good relationship between management, workers and clients who for those who are looking for NSA fun in London with escorts.
As I looked through the site, I was looking for key markers that would attract me as a potential client. When I first loaded it up, I assumed my number one priority would be finding a woman I am attracted to. Turns out that isn’t really what my mind focussed on. Sure, I was looking at many beautiful workers and they captivated my eyes, however, it was the usability of the site that truly caught my attention. I may have never used an escort site before, but I have been on them and what I noted, in particular, is that it is very user friendly and navigatable. Wondering about pricing? Location? Available escorts? All of that and more is easy to find. That, to me, speaks of a well-run organization that, hopefully, treats its workers with as much care as has been put into customer service.
Another strong aspect of the site is the descriptions and photos of the escorts themselves. Having never been to London, I can’t really speak on the preferred demographics of sought-after sex workers, but you will find many with a variety of available skills. There isn’t much in the way of cultural diversity, so if you’re looking for women of different ethnicities, you might be out of luck. However, there are many beautiful women who charge a range of prices.
I worried a bit, taking this trip through an escort site. I was a bit worried I’d find glossed-over coercion or shady-seeming business practices. But everything certainly seems on the up-and-up and if this is what you seek, you should be quite happy.