What lead you to blogging?
I’m a writer by nature and a journalist by training. When I decided to start dating again last year after almost ten years of celibacy, I found myself seeking out sexual adventures instead of traditional “dating” I realized I was going through something emotionally and I decided to start the blog to record what was happening and what my feelings were about it. Writing helps me work things out. And I thought it would be interesting for other women to read.
When you started out, did you think it would be as emotionally and sexually explicit?
Yes, but I didn’t expect the direction things have taken. I was and am committed to being completely honest about my actions and feelings on the blog, because otherwise there is no point to it. Also, women don’t talk enough about their sexual needs and appetites because (in the U.S. at least) sexually voracious and independent women are considered morally corrupt, threatening or crazy. In my small way I want to counter-act that.
Which do you find more challenging to write: the emotional or the sexual?
This is a great question! Unquestionably the emotional, because of the way I was brought up. We never talked about emotions when I was growing up; we denied them. Even after therapy, I have to sit down and sift through the emotional impact of things and struggle to express them accurately and honestly. It is the hardest thing.
What was the epiphany for you, that moment to make you want to change your life?
I saw what the future would look like if I didn’t make a move, and it scared the shit out of me. I didn’t want to continue living in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being made a fool of. All those things are part of a normal life and happen to everyone. I realized I wasn’t living a full life, and I didn’t want to continue that.
Would you have been able to have the adventures you’re having in, say, your 20s?
Never. I didn’t. I was too insecure, had little self-worth and believed that good girls didn’t do such things. I was educated in Catholic schools from nursery school to university, and had the kind of upbringing where I was taught men and sex were dangerous and could ruin your life.
What’s your current status with both J. and Terminator?
Ah. I am in a relationship with J., and although it’s been hard to curb the urge to fuck around, the emotional attachment, love and support we have is something I’ve never experienced before, so I want to protect it. I’m behaving myself. Also, we have great sexual chemistry, which is a major consideration for me. Because of his recent injury at work we’re on a sexual hiatus of sorts for now, but he has given me the option of stepping out of the relationship for sex, but I don’t think he will be able to handle it if I do. For the moment, I’m keeping my legs crossed.
God, the Terminator! We agreed to stop seeing each other for a while, but if I step out on J. He will be the one I call. He is my pattern: the emotionally unavailable, but tantalizing type I had relationships with in the past, that drove me out of my mind. Sexually intense, emotionally remote. I still think about him, he is so under my skin, although I know things would never work between us. It never ceases to amaze me that we met on Craigslist. Hilarious.
You’re planning to turn your blog writings and adventures into a novel. How is that going?
Yes, I hope to complete it later this year, but I just scrapped the beginning and started over. Other parts of it are going well. I’m also working on two erotic stories that popped up in my mind, so lots of erotica in the works right now. I never would have guessed, but I enjoy writing it.
Have you always fancied yourself a writer?
I’ve been writing since I was eight years old. I’ve worked as a journalist and editor and now I do freelance writing. I’m happiest at the keyboard or with pen in hand. So, yes.
Where do you think life is leading you in the near future?
Toward happiness and fulfillment, although I’m not sure what form that will take. I expect it to involve lots of sex and writing!