Say YES to Never Say Never: Tips, Tricks and Erotic Inspiration For Lovers

Whatever your interest, there are so many amazing books and resources out there to teach and describe all of the sexy ideas and possibilities that are available. And there is no better person to give us a peek into that wide, sexy world that the incomparable Alison Tyler!

In her latest book Never Say Never: Tips, Tricks and Erotic Inspiration For Lovers (Cleis Press), Tyler takes the monotony out of monogamy with a delicious collection of tips and stories. Check out this excerpt on bondage:

Chapter Six
TIED AND TEASED: Beginning Bondage 

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.
—MAE WEST 

Bondage is such a loaded word. What do you see when you think of bondage? Dungeons? Black leather? Dark, sinister tools and implements? (May I come over to your house tonight? May I bring a friend?) Sometimes people forget that kink can come in a variety of, oh, let’s just say it, shades. You don’t need to dive into the deep end right away if bondage is something new to you. Play light. Tiptoe into the world of BDSM (in a pair of high-heeled patent-leather boots, of course). Use your imagination before you reach for cuffs, whips, floggers, crops…those can come later. You can come right now. 

But how do you even begin? 

X-rated, X-rated, read all about it. My number one piece of advice for couples wanting to delve into new territories is to read some smut. (Which you’re doing right now, you good pupil.) Discover what makes you hard, what makes you wet, and decide first of all whether the words are enough. Maybe you can get off simply on hearing about what other people like to do. If not, then go slow. Choose a safeword. Check in constantly. Invest in a safety manual. And have fun. Sex shouldn’t be so serious that you can’t crack a smile while cracking that whip. 

Admittedly, my novice days are long behind me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t remember the first shivery thrill of being tied down the first time. Bondage can rely simply on a command, like in my short story “Playing for Keeps”: 

My training began as soon as we’d moved in together, our first night in our new house. 

“Let go of the headboard, Sarah, and we’ll have a much more humiliating lesson tomorrow,” he assured me. 

Staying still for a whipping, staying still on my own accord, is nearly impossible for me.

Being tied down is so much easier. So much less work.

There is no choice involved. No mental trauma. But holding steady, wrists overhead, body clenched, back and thighs and cunt whipped severely. That takes will.