The Hook-up: Panty Parade

Introducing Panty Parade

Normally, I’m not a fan of parades. I’ve been to too many Canadian winter Santa Claus shiverfests. But when you throw in the word panty in there—along with a so many delicious stories…well I’ll line the streets to read her adventures. And we can all check them out Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet—from the pleasure of our own homes.

How did you get into sex blogging?
I didn’t even know what sex blogging was when I started almost four years ago. I wrote about my experiences while following self-help dating books. The blog (now defunct) was snarky and sexy and not the least bit useful for anyone really wanting to get involved in a loving relationship. I used my real name and had to shut that blog down after the men I was dating Googled me and found out about my sexual shenanigans.

I started writing anonymously a little over a year ago as Panty Parade. Off Go the Panties blends personal sexual exploration (and fantasy), advice for would-be erotic writers, and commentary about anything having to do with sex. I no longer follow anyone’s rules. That gets me into trouble from time to time, but I’m okay with that.

Can we call you Dr. Off Go The Panties?
I write as Panty Parade on Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet when not writing for my blog. You can call me doctor if you want—I do have a Ph.D.

What is the most important thing you’ve learned—of any nature—in your years of sex blogging?
The most valuable lessons I’ve learned came from other sex bloggers. I learned that we have an active, loving, giving, supportive, and open community. It’s very humbling when you ask for something and thirty people you know only through the Internet come running to the rescue.

I’m a relative newbie, so knowing that there’s a world of mentors out there helps immensely now that I’m trying to branch out into erotic fiction.

Do you ever aspire to finding someone and settling down?
I aspire to find someone who will love me to my core and never ask me to settle down.

How are you feeling about the reaction to your piece “How to Get Everything You Want from Casual Sex (Without Hurting Anyone)”.
There are two things going on over at The Good Men Project that I find troubling, but overall the experience has been wonderful. The Good Men Project is incredibly savvy when it comes to social media marketing and getting their word out, and I hope to continue learning from them. The sex and relationships editor, Jackson Bliss, has been incredibly supportive and open to my ideas. I’m learning so much by being affiliated with them.

As for the reaction to my article on how to have a respectful, casual relationship—it’s been mostly positive if you take out two or three loud mouths who insist on carrying on. Clearly these bullies have their own agenda, and most readers see right through the bullshit.

The thing that I’d like to change is how many readers are interested in my articles. I pitched a second story to the editors—this second one is about what women look forward to as they anticipate a first date—and I hope that one will be more widely read.

Can you think of three words to describe yourself—using words you’ve never used to describe yourself before? 
I had a stylist ask me this very same question a few years ago. Back then I answered: chic, cosmopolitan, and a wee bit mysterious. So those words are out. . . . How about friendly, fastidious, and occasionally frenzied?

What themes and activities are you currently enjoying writing about in your erotica?
I asked the beta readers for my novella, Trouble, if the ending was “happy.” One reader responded, “If you call being alone happy.” I believe the technical term for my writing is dark or gothic erotica. The couples are not in love, nor do they want to be. They’re okay with how their lives are working out even though they don’t look anything like a fairytale.

My main characters in this first book get mixed up in the emotional turmoil that (sometimes) comes with great sex. Can you love the sex without loving the person? Some people can and others cannot. That’s the crux of Trouble.

My second book—I actually wrote a lot of it last spring—is a series of short stories where the emotional (and psychological) undercurrent impacts various couples as they explore their erotic fantasies. I’m calling it Involuntary Reflex because our gut reactions to lovers are often unintentional—we respond much like a funny bone hit with a mallet.

What most catches your eye in a Craigslist ad, and what turns you of the most?
I don’t answer many Craigslist personals anymore because I’d much rather post an advertisement and see what happens. When I’ve responded in the past, it was usually consistent with some of my personal kinks—out of town businessmen who are looking for a little home town hospitality. I’m a big fan of expense accounts and hotel sex.

What can we look forward to from you in the future? 
Panty Parade will keep writing at Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet will publish more erotic fiction and articles. Trouble will be available in January 2014 and Involuntary Reflex will be out in March. The third book—there are traces of various characters in all three, but it’s not an official series—will be out this fall.