The Hook-up: Between My Sheets

Introducing Between My Sheets

Every community needs leaders—even ones who don’t start out with that intention. Any and everyone who aspire to joining to the sex blogging community would do well to learn from Rori.

How did you get into sex blogging? 

Several years ago, I worked for a network of blogs and they were looking for someone to take over their sex blog. It was just a job for me, but I discovered that I absolutely LOVED it, so it became a real passion as well, in part because it was helping me explore my own sexuality. I left the network and (with their blessing) started my own sex blog at Between My Sheets.

With so many different branches on your blog, as of today, what is your favourite part to work on?
That’s a tough question to answer. I really enjoy writing erotica, because it is a creative outlet that I don’t get elsewhere in life. However, nothing is better than answer questions and knowing that I really help people. So, I would say that my favorite part is writing advice posts, like my sex toy buying guide for beginners or my guide for people who want to be spanked but don’t know how to tell their partners, which is one of the most common questions I get via email.
I also really love the work I do with other sex bloggers. I wrote an ebook about how to start a sex blog, and anyone who downloads it also gets weekly emails from me filled with advice on how to improve their blogs. I love blogging!

What inspired you to start your annual list of top sex bloggers?
I wanted to help readers find new blogs to read. I had a small list of personal favorites, but thought it would be fun to build out that list and than share it with others. I asked for nominations from my readers and was so pleasantly surprised with the response that I decided to do it every year. It’s really been a labor of love, because every year I have hundreds of nominations to go through and I try to be as fair as possible. 

What motivates your Advice posts? Questions from others or issues you are experiencing yourself?
As I noted previously, I love helping people, so most come from issues I see others happen. Most of the time, this heavily overlaps with issues I’ve had myself. It always amazing me that people around the world have such similar problems, but that just tells me that we need more education out there, and more positive messages that having an active sex life is natural—and very achievable.
What erotica really does it for you these days? Has this changed over time?
I still love elements of BDSM in erotica that I read, but that’s just a personal taste. Great dialogue is a must, and if the beginning doesn’t immediately grab me, I’m bored. Those things haven’t really changed over time for me. Good writing is good writing!

What I find really distracting is when a blogger refers to past events or talks about people and I have no knowledge of what they’re talking about because I’m a new blog reader and they didn’t provide a link. That’s a mistake I made myself, but I now try to include links whenever I reference something that people might not know about or whenever I continue a story I started earlier. I also have a cast of characters page on my blog where I talk about who everyone is, and I love when other bloggers do too. It really helps me get into the erotica when I know the history.

You have taken on a mentor role for many sex bloggers, including publishing a book on how to be a sex blogger. Did you envision this happening when you started out?
No way. I just wanted to have some fun! But, my career led me down a path where I have been constantly learning about blogging (in all niches, not just sex) and attending educational events and conferences about how to be a better blogger. As I started to learn more and more, I thought about how the same concepts apply to sex bloggers, and I wanted to share what had worked (and not worked) for me.
How did you get connected with the Extreme Restraints, Divine Bitches, etc to start your online store? Was that your initiative?
These are all affiliate programs. Running your own store is a tough job, but as an affiliate, you can sell products and someone else takes care of the distribution, money collection, and customer support. I decided to build out an online store filled with my favorite products, because I am asked for sex toy buying advice pretty regularly. So, I simply did a little research to find the programs that made sense for me. Sometimes, toy companies approach me to request that I become an affiliate, but most of the time, I’m working with companies where I’m actually a customer.
What advice can you give newer sex bloggers about establishing affiliate relationships with companies?
I could probably do an entire interview on this topic alone!

First, it is my opinion that you should pick a few companies to work with instead of working with every company other the sun. That way, you can meet your minimums faster (every company has its own rules about when you are paid, but in most cases, you have to make a minimum amount of money before they will cut a check).

Next, make sure you actually like the company you’re working with. Some people, especially other sex bloggers, are very vocal about working with some companies and not working with others. You have to do what YOU think is best. Don’t just go with the highest affiliate percentages. Send your readers somewhere you trust.

Also, consider factors like return policies, shipping rates, information given about the product, etc. Your readers do care about these things. Another factor to consider is how often the company does sales. When products are discounted, it’s prime time for you to promote and make some sales!

What can we look forward to in the future from you and your blog?
Over the past few months, I haven’t been posting as regularly as before, because I’m working on some exciting projects that are coming down the pipeline, including more ebooks and a sex blogger community site! I’m also soon expanding to have a podcast as well, which is really exciting, and I hope everyone will give it a listen!
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